Twas The Night Before Kwanzaa

Twas the night before Kwanzaa and all through the Sphere
All the wingnuts were praying it would disappear
For their very own president said to the nation
That he too respected this new celebration.

Compassionate's one thing but this went too far
They thought to themselves while out scrounging for tar
They loathed the idea of black african drumming
Somehow they must try to stop Kwanzaa from coming

So they dug up their references and scribbled up notes
And tried to keep all of that bile in their throats
But they couldn't. It spilled out on all of their pages
In their poison pen poems and raggedy rages

On Mulshin, on Malkin, on Coulter on Shaidle
On Barber, on Frontpage and on Redstate unbridled
The vomitous spew flowed without restraint
Telling all who would listen just what Kwanzaa ain't

Aint Christian, legitimate, reverent or true
And you know that it surely ain't red white and blue
Just a sham holiday that some Negroes enjoy
(Hey can we say Negroes? OK, just not 'boy')

But their secret weapon was no watermelon
But the hideous fact of Karenga, the felon.
Karenga? Who's that? Some would bother to ask
Why the black racist commie who started this task

They replied with abandon, back in 66
This FBI stoolie, he tortured some chicks
And shot up some Panthers, though that can't be proven
This is the moonbat who got Kwanzaa movin'

The Nguzo Saba and all Kwanzaa people
Were crammed in one grinchbag and hung from the steeple
No patriot ever loved Kwanzaa they said
And marched away confident Kwanzaa was dead

The bloggers they blogged and the writers they wrote
And so it just happened that some did take note
That something was fishy in this Kwanzaa smear
For there was one argument no one could hear

It seemed that the haters in their rush to judge
Indulged in an argument, well more like a fudge
Of making Karenga the butt of all jokes
While completely ignoring the millions of folks

Who love Kwanzaa and celebrate year after year
Without bile or hatred, racism or fear
Who quietly with loved ones light candles at night
Who pour the libation, who live clean and right.

And like JFK who was labeled a papist,
The wingnuts said Kwanzaans were just like a rapist
The sins of Karenga they laid on masses
And view them askance through their dung colored classes

And these seven principles, where is the crime?
Americans take pride in these things all the time.
Kujichagulia might be hard to say
But Self-Determination's the American way

It doesn't much matter when bigotry's spoken
That some part of our plurality's broken
I wish I could say that these wingnuts were joking
It's just too unclear what it is they are smoking

Some say wingnuts fear Christ is under attack
Some say they fear anything that is black
Some say they fear the same virtue they lack
Some say that the wingnuts are strung out on crack

No matter the angle no matter the reason
It's clear that these fears have all poisoned the season
For just when we claim our good will towards men
The haters start off with their rants once again

And so desecrate what they claim to hold holy
Perhaps when they see this more clearly then slowly
The truth of their neighbors devotions will show
Additional light added to Christmas' glow

And in that new light, new faith will arise
Without conflict or malice, without compromise
More true than the legend of Santa and elves.
We'll all love our neighbors as we love ourselves.