200 Portofino Wy
Redondo Beach, CA 90277
If you're political and you read Mark Steyn (Beuller? Anyone?) you know that the EU is depopulating and muslims and various other ethnic groups are multiplying. If you don't read Mark Steyn and are single and looking for a new rock band as an accessory to your car and car stereo, then you probably do not have a childproof abode. In either case, you know something about yuppie lines of demarcation and the ability to deal with messy reality. Either you have it or you don't. The good news for those of you on the dainty and young side is that eventually you will have a kid and eventually you will grow to like its smell and chaos, rather like you look for now at nightclubs and bars. At such time you will join with the real human race as opposed to being a market demographic blip for record company execs in Century City. We on the far side of parenthood will thus welcome you.
At that point in your life, unless you have a terminal case of the (eww grody to the max) dainties and decide to turn your offspring into a houseplant, you will realize the funky genius that is Seaside Lagoon, clorinated funky seawater and all.
Yes, you can let your kids run wild. Yes they will pee in the water. Yes they will splash you, throw sand at seabirds, spill mustard on themselves, get pushed off the side, slide down the waterslide backwards, get sand in every orifice, walk around with sunburned shoulders, wrinkle up your beach towel and if you're lucky swim too soon after eating and blow chunks (although I've yet to see it happen in 3 seasons). Still, after all of that, those kids will be five times as cute as Lindsay Lohan and everybody she parties with. Why, because they're your kids, they will have had unadulterated undisciplined wild monkey fun and they'll love you forever for taking them to Seaside Lagoon.
Now go and have some ice cream. You deserve it.