I have played the Chinese against the UN. I have, at my whim, subverted Venezuelan revolutionaries, kidnapped and executed executives, run tanks through VZ government palaces and exploded oil platforms. I have launched missiles at reinforced bunkers, chased gunboats through minefields, and dropped shipping containers on the heads of civilians from black helicopters. I have hijacked troop transports, destroyed historic castles and run guns for Jamaican pirates. I have blownup billboards with rocket launchers and run missile gunships aground. I have thrown more grenades and flipped more jeeps than I can count. I have stolen millions of dollars, sabotaged fuel depots, tasked satellites over refineries and dropped the mother of all bombs on a hillside favela. I have dealt with money grubbing gringo mercenaries, ball busting female insurgents, Rastafarian bird smugglers, pierced Irish playboys, ambitious Chinese colonels and drunken Russian pilots. I have swung from helicopter skids and thrown men to their deaths 3000 feet above the jungle floor. I have snuck through government checkpoints in rustbucket heaps armed with only a sidearm. I have called in carpet bombing airstrikes on UN peacekeepers. I have rained artillery fire on office buildings in the middle of business districts and watched them crumble in huge clouds of concrete dust while chomping a cigar. I have pistol whipped dignitaries and handcuffed them only to execute them because I have double crossed the clients who already paid my bounty. I have run armored personnel carriers through tarpaper shacks and demolished military barracks with C4. I have crawled out from under the wreckage of helicopters falling from the sky, victims of combat air patrols. I have dropped fuel air devices, cluster bombs and even a nuclear bunker buster that I extorted from an American general just to get revenge.
What can I say? I had a badass time.