Except for David Anderson, I don't know any CEOs that I like. But I know lots of people I would like to be CEO. When I think back, I can't ever remember any salesman I've ever known who ever met a CEO he didn't like, until he wasn't making his quota and then everybody's a bastard.
This Depression doesn't have a name yet but it's starting to get some character. As people's fears and prejudices and other humanly baggage rises to the surface we're going to start remembering things that have nothing to do with cause and effect, but are associated nevertheless with our conversations. We are retreating into our humanity and away from our work and minds. Or maybe it's better to say that our left brains are burned out and so we are seeking comfort in our right brains. There's safety in instinctual emotion, or so we are programmed to think. One of the casualties of this civil regression will be the relative ease with which we relate to each other across class lines. I'm starting to feel it.
This weekend, I did a bit of shopping - my own economic stimulus. Well, last week I dropped 800 bucks on the Transporter for some brake work and miscellaneous fixing. The local Firestone dealer had no waiting. Usually the bays are full and there are cars queued up in the lot, the TV is on the game in the lobby and there are bored customers sitting on the cheap divans. This time I walked right to the front and got handled right away. Business is slow they said, guys have their hours cut. I told my man that it's temporary because nobody is going to be buying new cars. He understands that's what corporate is saying, but it hasn't happened yet. Overall the folks at Firestone were cheery enough and they had enough time to discuss the finer points of caster, camber and toe in.
But this weekend's shopping had a little creepier vibe. I finally got over to Office Depot to get my favorite things, containers to organize all my stuff. I also got some index cards and CD cases and a big plastic container for old video games. All told it was about 80 bucks worth of stuff that nobody really needs, except that Office Depot has a store full of it on sale, and apparently they make a living. But when I got to the cashier, she had this look on her face that made me think I just spent enough money to put her kids through school. She would look at the item, ring it up, smack her teeth and then give me the stink-eye - item after item. It made me think about Cobb's Rule #14. Never trust anybody whose shoes cost more than you make in a day. They'll think nothing of walking all over you. At the time I was wearing $120 shoes. It made me scratch my head.
Later on, in between shuffling the girls to and from hiphop and cheerleading gymnastics class, I found myself at Radio Shack buying a little more in worthless trifles. Actually, all I really wanted was some batteries - the special lithium 123 batteries for my high=powered LED flashlight. That flashlight is one of the man-things that I keep in my Oakley computer bag. Also in there is my Calibri cigar torch and my CRKT. BTW, I've gotten the CRKT through airport security several times - sometimes I forget to unpack it. Anyway, being the gearhead that I am, I wanted to make sure that I had everything, and the store manager pounced on me.
I never, ever get store credit cards. In fact, I didn't realize I was getting this one. I thought it was just a membership club. So when he asked for my social, I gave him my phony social, which is off by a digit or two, but I do remember it just as well. As soon as I did he ran around and told all of his people to open the store to me. It was a little embarrassing. But having been a sales shark myself, I recognize a good game and I enjoy letting him do his magic. In the end I got 0% financing for a year on about 300 bucks worth of stuff. He even came out to the car and helped me carry out some goods. Now that's a man who appreciates good business. Still, there was an edge of rapaciousness when he wasn't looking directly - who knows what the other guy was thinking? But I've built systems for Radio Shack within the past two years down in Fort Worth, and I know they've got to be hurting.
What can I say? I'm a mark.
It's not just shopping any more. Having a wallet full of crisp bills feels like... it almost feels like being back in the hood. The Spousal Unit is feeling rather Detroit in all this. The other thing I did this weekend was to rewire some of Vault 107. In particular, I replaced my simple two prong outlet behind the wide screen with a six banger of grounded sockets. In doing so, I opened the curtains for some extra light. When she came in, she immediately closed them, not wanting anybody who passes by to see that we have a big screen TV. Nor does she want me to park the Transporter out on the street. Quoth she, you never know.
I am reminded of the quote about stupid cops and clever criminals. In fact, I used it on Boy a couple weeks ago when he told me in so many words that he sometimes feels the sociopathic urge. He was voted Freshman Prince at the big school dance last month and confessed that it's sometimes very easy to take advantage of people. So I reminded him that even if he gets away with it, he'll always have to look over his shoulder. Whenever you go over to the dark side, you run a tremendous risk. Cops can make all kinds of mistakes, but the bad guy only has to make one.
CEOs are now bad guys. And I'm far from a CEO - I don't even fall into the >250K bucket which is the new 'rich' in the Obama socialist universe. But I do have some fairly nice shoes, and occasionally some extra cash. I'm starting to pay attention when people become a little more obsequious. I've been called 'sir' and 'boss' in a thousand transactions since I was in my 20s, but I'm listening for an edge these days. Sure I listen to the news and I know we're heading for our own version of the Dust Bowl, but the real casualty is not the wealth, but the civility. I'm not extended past my own alien-observation level of hyper-scrutiny and paranoia, but I'm listening and I'm watching.
I shouldn't have to remind anyone that a nation that doesn't allow CEOs to make mistakes or get the glory of being team captain is by definition cannibalistic. And nobody can argue that today's CEOs aren't better than ever. But somehow the exceptional assholes are now considered to be the rule. The guys who provide more benefits for domestic partners than the states - the big diversity champions are all the big soft corporate bosses. If you don't remember all that, slow down and remember it on Casual Friday, because I'm going to remind you again then myself.
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