Oh man. You absolutely have to love this. Apple plays the hand. Put up or shut up.
We have gone back to our labs and retested everything, and the results are the same— the iPhone 4’s wireless performance is the best we have ever shipped. For the vast majority of users who have not been troubled by this issue, this software update will only make your bars more accurate. For those who have had concerns, we apologize for any anxiety we may have caused.
As a reminder, if you are not fully satisfied, you can return your undamaged iPhone to any Apple Retail Store or the online Apple Store within 30 days of purchase for a full refund.
Yes. There are starving pirates in Somalia who would gladly take your iPhone, you spoiled brat.
UPDATE: If you want to get technical about it. Check out AnandTech.