I rented a red car today because my black one is broken. But I didn't want the red one, I wanted the white one. The white one was in need of an oil change. The man behind the counter figured that I wanted the white one, given the choice, because the red attracts cops. I wasn't thinking about cops in particular, but being an old man in general.
You see, I've done pretty much all the things I wanted to do.
I find it intriguing still to be low-key while still maintaining many of my hunter's instincts, and over the past several years it has become something of an ingrained habit. But sometimes it's useful to remind myself and others where I have been to become so peaceful.
White water rafting, rock climbing, surfing, water skiing, jet skiing, skiing, snowboarding, skateboarding, cycling, scuba diving, paintball, racqetball, motorcycle street racing... hmm.. it doesn't sound like such a big list now that I start writing it down. I've flown a single engine plane, hiked to the top of Mt Whitney, wrecked my motorcycle a couple times only to discover my broken kneecap 20 years later. I made a tandem dirt bike, gone parasailing, faced a rattlesnake withing striking distance and danced with Rosie Perez. I've been on television. I've been on radio. I've been to London, Milan and Paris and all over America.
Two things I always wanted to do but never quite got around to is learning to ride a unicycle and getting a black belt in aikido. I've never fired a sniper rifle and I haven't driven faster than 140mph. I have forgotten most of my bucket list, and I'm pretty sure that I destroyed my evil one. But now I'm a little curious as to where I might have kept a backup.
But there's the other stuff too. I had chicken pox, measles, mumps, rubella, impetigo, and a textbook case of pityriasis rosea. I've had probably six different kinds of knock-you-on-your ass flu following each move to a different part of the country. I've been detained by cops about 30 times for no good reason. I've been in the middle of an armed robbery complete with flying bullets, several bar fights and I almost drowned on vacation in Hawaii. I've had my nose broken by a wild pitch and got bit in the face by a German Shepherd. I crashed a minibike into a chainlink fence and fell down a concrete staircase like an idiot. I dropped a car jack on my big toe that put a crease in my toenail that took 18 months to grow out and I've driven three BMWs into the ground.
I have saved a drowning kid, been nominated Outstanding Young Man of America, and been elected National Finance Chair of NSBE. Twice. I sang in my church's Gospel Choir and once soloed at the LA Cathedral. I've been on the Dean's List of every school I ever attended and made National Merit Semifinalist. I stopped a bicycle thief.
I had an opportunity to be a training master of a crazy new product called Visual Basic. But I didn't want to live in some town called Redmond WA. And when Florida A&M University offered me a four year undergraduate scholarship, I said 'who'? I could have gone into business with my cousin who is now CEO of a company worth God only knows how many millions.
But I married the right woman, and never had a cavity until 2 years ago.
I have said on several occasions that I feel ready to die. Not that I want to, by any means, but that if I did, my only regret would be not seeing my kids and their families become what they will. But here's the thing for now, and I like remembering it:
a> focus
b> fiscal discipline
c> commit myself to do the most of the unique things only I can do.
And it's the last one that makes it all feel right. I'm on the verge of being annoyingly uninterested in people's opinions of me. That's what happens when I read historical fiction.

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