Last August I reported to you from the Lower Upper Middle Class. Since then I've gotten a promotion and I'm essentially living at the level of risk that was involved with the China Deal. All I can tell you is that given what I've been dealing with over the past 12 weeks, I'm hella glad I didn't pack up the house and head to Beijing. There's more than enough drama here at home. Which is an interesting revelation that opens up other doors as well.
What I've got now, that I didn't have but always wanted, is my own company with some bank in the bank. It's not my bank, but I have about as much control as I need. I'm running my piece of the business on a relatively smooth track (finally) but there are all kinds of huge challenges ahead. I have basically made the transition from a software professional to a software executive, and I see why a lot of people don't make it.
It gives you a different kind of headache, executivity does. It's rather like... it's like tending a garden inside of a batting cage. As you are nursing your plants, and flowers and vegetables, out of nowhere comes a 90 mph fastball. You quickly learn that you now have to keep on a catcher's mitt. So with one tender hand, you feed your garden, with the other you dodge and catch rockets. The more you tend to one thing, the more the other gets away from you. You have to develop a completely new rhythm. That's what I'm doing, getting used to the new rhythm while keeping the bottom line in the back of my mind. Tracy Chapman was right. All that you have is your soul.
I understand why phony people become ruthless.
I'm almost at the point where money is not a thing. I'm about one or two bonuses away from never having to deal with another class of problems. From that point, all I have to worry about is an exit strategy (if that's what we decide) and the odd calamity. Outside of that, I have a good deal of confidence that I'm not going to have to worry about a lot of things I've been worried about too long. That is, if it is actually true that the rich get richer. I know it's not, and I'm not buying any Krystal any time soon.
But there remains the matter of subduing the self, and coming up with the boundless energy required to keep up people's confidence in your ability to lead. This is very difficult work, work I couldn't imagine doing with anything but a