Understanding Phoenix

I don't understand Phoenix.

I've been there for two weeks in a row now, and I still can't figure the place out. Far more than Los Angeles, there is no there there. The major east-west highway goes north and south. Their river is a lake. The freeway loops don't loop and there are no mountains for 20 miles in any direction and they call the place 'the Valley'.

It was 97 degrees on a good day, down from 109. In the middle of a day when it's 104, there is a 15 minute thunderstorm with 30 mph winds. The only public service announcements on the radio are soundbites from the Christian Right.

I've been in the southwest of town. In Chandler, everything is new and expensive looking. The many Mimi's-sized restaurants have halos of mist spraying from the rain gutters in order to keep the temperature down for those souls brave enough to eat on the patios. There is an extraordinary variety of desert flora that grows out of well manicured dirt which looks orangish and simmers in the heat. All is stucco and tile and people drive slowly.