Crabby

Today is just one of those days where I'm mad at the world and myself. I have this sense of malaise that is related to everything and nothing. But I know where it's coming from, it's personal.

Have you ever had one of those days where suddenly everything makes sense? Kind of like a breakthrough and you realize that things are a lot less complicated now that you've seen X or done Y? I've had a bunch of those recently and now I'm mad. I'm mad because I understand that I've been living under a rock, relatively speaking.

So now I'm in that wreckless and aggressive mood that makes me want to run over people walking too slow across the street and what they hell did they expect because there's no light or crosswalk.

The other night I found myself explaining the concept of blogging to one of the most beautiful black women I've seen in a long time. It was both exhilirating and frustrating. I'm like Pocahantas singing that refrain, "how can there be so much that you don't know?". I mean how do you live in America and not know what a blog is? Well, you pay no attention to current events. I understand, because I don't know the names of the judges on American Idol or who any of those people are. We all live in our own ghettoes.

Aside from all this I was sick as a dog yesterday. I don't get sick, you see. I don't get headaches or other basic infirmities. I mean, yeah I could use some cosmetic dentistry, and a few more hours per week on my new mountain bike, and there's probably some dermabrasion I could use if I ever get invited to be a regular on television, but other than that I am in perfect health. This is what you get from defeating measles, mumps, chicken pox, rubella, and every flu known to man at an early age. I just don't worry about my health and I buy the minimum insurance on all my insurables. So when I get sick, I refuse medicine. I just get mad and beat up the goddamed virus. So perhaps that's what's going on. My system, in fighting off whatever this junk is in me is making me hate people too.

The way I hate people is like this. I become convinced that you are an idiot and I determine that without my assistance, you are going to self-destruct and take out some innocent bystanders. My concern over this forces me to help you when I ought to be crap-slapping you. This is how I hate people.

So I went to lunch, and sure enough, the day laborers over at the local Home Depot are dragging huge plastic trashbags across the street. Made me swerve.

I'll tell you what else is on my nerves. The unmitigated gall of this dumbass congress to presume that the FBI cannot investigate them. This is a Constitutional issue? Spare me. Plus, who knows what's in the immigration bill now? I can't get my streaming audio this week so I can't get any decent analysis. I don't have patience to read more than the 50 subscriptions I have on Google Reader.

And I'm dropping Prometheus 6 from my subscription because I'm mad at black progressives who are paying jack attention to the matters before Congress. I have come to a preliminary conclusion that any black Democrat on the web that's not reporting the activities of the Congressional Black Congress is beneath consideration.

I'm also mad at Ryan Seacrest for clogging up traffic in Torrance this morning with his idiot Prize Patrol on KIIS-FM. I'm also mad at my wife for talking me into buying a new BBQ grill that I have to assemble. I'm also mad at myself for not knowing more parents from my kids elementary school and thinking that I've got to create a community portal for them to login to just so I can remember who the hell they are. Sure, everybody knows me, I'm the only black man within a 10 mile radius.

I'm also mad at the accounts payable department who hasn't sent me an expense reimbursement in 6 weeks, and also at the IT department and their idiot Exchange Server that won't forward my work email to Google Mail. I'm mad at myself for not getting back to the guys who want to syndicate my blog.

I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm pissed.

So I'm leaving work early. Which means I'll have to do extra work at home cleaning up. I cannot win.