Neoconservatism has been giving me a headache now for several months. Ever since the wind came out of the Republican balloon, we've had our backs to the wall. And the nastiness keeps coming, even to the point of sacking Wolfowitz for essentially being Wolfowitz. No good deed goes unpunished, but maybe punishing neocons deserves some punishment back. This afternoon I am sorely tempted by Gerard. Maybe we ought to take our football and go home. After all, that's what all those selfish Democrats want - out of the world so we can crank up welfare at home.
Gerard gets to the crux of it:
8) Oil? We'll be drilling the entire states of Alaska, California, Texas, and Oklahoma for two years along with the Pacific and the Caribbean. After which we'll clean them up better than before because its what we do and we do it best. (Eco-nuts protesting this will be given honorary Swedish citizenship and deported via the alimentary canals of polar bears.)
But if we need extra oil and we ask, you'd better think twice before you say no. We'll always have enough in the strategic petroleum reserve for B-52's and our carrier groups. If we have to send them out, they will be, we promise you, in a very bad mood. Very bad.
But, hey, it's a free world. Make our day.
9) You got that part about the Navy (surface fleet at least) coming home, right? This means we'll no longer be guaranteeing the safety of the sea lanes throughout the world, so if any of your tankers get lost or you see a big fleet of ships coming across the straits towards, say, Taiwan, well, call up North Korea and see if you can get a witness.
10) We're sort of tuckered out here and not a little bit cranky because of it, so please don't do anything that interrupts our picnics and naps. Should any of you take it in your little pin-heads to bug us, please understand that we reserve the right to, well, "over-react" and give you a live demo of how to turn sand into glass in your own backyard. (See below) Learn the inner meaning of our temporary national motto: Noli me tangere.
See? People make a big deal about the difference between Democrats and Republicans, liberals and conservatives, but we're all Americans and we're after what suits us best. When Republicans get completely fed up with making the distinctions between Sunnis in Al Anbar and Shiites in Basra, you will all fall to the lowest common denominator: Them. And guess what, that means our attention to you all will basically be whatever PBS says, and the majority of us don't care about PBS.
As long as the US military was in your dirt, you had a chance at the American heart, or at least the most principled and Christian of us, the Conservatives. But we've about had it up to here with all the spitting we've been getting in return for our willingness to sacrifice blood and treasure for the liberty nobody seems to give two camel shits about.
That means it's going to end bad for you all. Whoever you are. Because when we lose, and if we become a minority party, it's going to be all about us again. You won't have the benefits of our boots. Maybe we'll launch a cruise missile or two, but the troops... they'll all be back home playing Halo 3.
For now, I feel guilty as hell for adopting this attitude. But I also respect the rule of the majority in the world's greatest democracy. I know we tried our best to maintain neoconservative foreign policy, but we cannot sustain the political momentum at home. That means.. well, you'll figure out what 'America Alone' means the hard way
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