A family controversy:
Whereas...
[My first and only mistake in the aforementioned Email was misspelling 'Powder' when describing the Nesquik milk-flavoring]
I did not, repeat, did not use the incorrect term to describe the hard candy treats: Now And Laters. The vernacular used sounded like 'now-a-laters' for the simple reason that young persons of the Negro persuasion residing in the Crenshaw District of South Central Los Angeles in the period in question (circa 1974) were too lazy to properly articulate the middle syllabic reference of said confectionery item, thereby causing certain adults, similar to the one who raised these baseless charges, to refer to the candies in question as 'Now Or Laters', an egregious and unforgivable error that may subsequently result in litigious action against said adult whose slanderous comments were entirely without merit, or the result of one too many rendezvous with alcoholic beverages.
I dispute that and henceforth suggest you forward all future correspondence related to this matter to the attorney I have on retainer to defend against such ludicrous charges that I misrepresented said confectionery item, charges that never would have seen the light of day had the inebriated individual visited candyfavorites.com or a host of related Internet sites.
Bryan Thomas (Sticking My Tongue Out At You) Bowen, Esq.
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