I'm going to submit five countries onto the international shitlist in advance of Hilary Clinton. I pretty much know what she's likely to say but still, just in case she doesn't. The following are the nations who should be clutching their 'nads in fear of American aggression.
Sudan
Sudan has gotten away with murder. And mass rape. And genocide. And tyranny, and a bunch of other uncomfortable things for way too long. It has been on the back burner and in the public consciousness for many years. There's basically no reason whatsoever that Americans should, now that about half of us are not under the illusion that we are an evil empire any longer, restrain ourselves from acting like an evil empire where Sudan is concerned. All we need is the right movie with starring George Clooney, and we can make this happen.
Pakistan
Like Christopher Hitchens said today, India is our friend. India is our incredibly good friend and I want somebody in the Clinton -- oops, slipped there. Obama Administration to take the easy kudos for saying so and making a lot of noise about it. Those freakin' retarded muslims in the northern partition have been double dealing for a very long time, and now that Musharraf is out and Bhutto is dead, we can all pretend that there are no real friends in Pakistan and start acting buck wild.
North Korea
Because.
Somalia
Somalia has got it coming. We have been swatting the flies off of their distended bellies for decades and what thanks do we get besides a really cool movie with Tom Sizemore? God I love Tom Sizemore. Nothing. That's what we get, humiliation and a lot of psuedo-intellectual back talk. But the problem is that Susan Rice and Jendayi Frazer have been doing the right thing diplomatically to no avail. Now we've got pirates. That's right, good old fashioned cutthroats on the high seas. They need to be drowned, quick fast and in a hurry. The longer they stay out there, the more other loser countries are going to think they can get away with this same kind of nonsense. Put 'em down.
By the way, where's Temple3?
Zimbabwe
Zimbabwe is trying to become the most disgustingly putrid economy in history. The inflation rate right now is somewhere around... well, put it this way. The price for everything doubles there every day. Economists are having to think of new ways of describing how awful the situation has become. So maybe we should just outsource their entire economy. Here's a new way for the US to become a non-violent aggressor. I mean while we're out there just buying every goddamned failed American bank, insurer and auto company, we might as well throw in a country or two. The only way in the world Robert Mugabe is going to be arrested is if he is a black man in America, so, make Zimbabwe American.
So that rounds out my semi-serious geopolitical strategy for BHO and HRC. When they touch base on those points, I will back them up. Otherwise, they're full of shit and should be ignored. As for Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran, well GWB already owns those. Barack is just the relief pitcher. He might get the save, but he doesn't get the win. And if he loses, it's all his fault.
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