A Man Who Doesn't Know Futbol

I kept waiting for the punchline in this jeremiad against soccer. It never came. And so I must conclude that somewhere in Indiana, there are people who actually believe the soccer is a game for girls. There is definitely a college professor who needs to get out more often, like into the real world outside of suburban AYSO.

Soccer is of foreign origin, that is certainly true, but its promotion and implementation are thoroughly domestic. Soccer is a self-inflicted wound. Americans have nobody to blame but themselves. Conservative suburban families, the backbone of America, have turned to soccer in droves. Baseball is too intimidating, football too brutal, and basketball takes too much time to develop the required skills. American parents in the past several decades are overworked and exhausted, but their children are overweight and neglected. Soccer is the perfect antidote to television and video games. It forces kids to run and run, and everyone can play their role, no matter how minor or irrelevant to the game. Soccer and relevision are the peanut butter and jelly of parenting.

One game of futbol and this wry bookworm would be crawling home on his knees. I understand his point, but dude has certainly never played, and as one can imagine, there's probably not three first class soccer players in the entire state of Indiana. The difference between the games his lame children play and those at any considerable skill level is certainly orders of magnitude. What he's watching is not a sport, but an activity.

So let him rant. Damnable ignorant Hoosiers.