So I was looking to make a new avatar of myself and I found an anime site with ads for something I haven't seen before. It was Victoria Secret -style wedding dress models. Wowsers. So 'Wedding Porn' is the first thing that came to my mind. Wouldn't that be something? If you think about it for a while, when is the last time you saw any pop culture marketing or style that made something very attractive and sexy about a woman in a wedding dress? Maybe you and I don't watch the same channels, but I can't recall it ever. Not even when I used to watch House of Style with Cindy Crawford on MTV many years ago.
A search of that term took me to the Offbeat Bride blog where I happened upon a very grownup and obvious patch of text:
I think wedding rings on a dude (especially your own dude) are sexy! Every time I saw that flash of metal on his finger I gave me a thrill — it's all sexy "grown up" of him.
But when I stepped back and looked at the reality of the situation I saw that, honestly, that ring spent more time spinning on the table in front of him, or in his mouth, than on his finger. And I just saw how uncomfortable it made him. He really HATES wearing jewelry, and he complained that the air conditioning in the recording studio where he works made the ring so cold that his finger ached.
Now, I could've bitched and nagged and guilted my husband into just accepting his be-ringed fate, but I had realize that, even though that ring gave me a thrill, it's not at allworth his discomfort for one minute.
And what's the point of it really? 'It's symbol to show that he's devoted and faithful to me,' is what I came up with. But isn't it okay that the symbol just be that he freaking MARRIED ME!? I mean, what more do I need? This man stood in front of family, friends, and a few complete strangers, and exchanged vows with me — do I need more than THAT? And the answer was, obviously, no. There doesn't need to be a physical symbol when his vows alone and my trust in him are enough to show me (and everyone else?) that he is devoted and faithful to me.
So, no, he doesn't wear a ring, and I'm okay with it. But I'll keep wearing mine because I think it's purrrrty.
I have that kind of weird love hate relationship with my wedding ring, which is btw my second replacement. It's my favorite because it is comfortable. Like Muslims, I have a thing against wearing gold. For me it's mostly aesthetic - say 65% but the other 35% doesn't like the flash at all. I do have a negative connotation with wearing the stuff. I don't suppose I'd do very well in India on that score. This ring I have now is fat and heavy brushed tungsten steel. It's very comfortable, but. I have this thing against the marks rings leave on my fingers. I hate the greasy tan line it creates.
I love wearing my ring when I'm dressed to impress and I consider it in the context of the watch I'm wearing. But for sports or camping, it has got to come off. On the whole, I consider my wedding band much more in the context of what it is as jewelry than what it represents as a symbol of the Sacrament. I do like, and have said, that because of its composition it's like my Marriage, unglamorous and unbreakable, but that's about it. It physically looks nothing like the one I put on my finger 16 years ago that I lost on a ski trip in 2000. It does resemble the first replacement which was a very traditional fat silver band that I kinda ruined opening a bottle of beer. Yeah, I know.
Isn't it interesting how typical, malleable and shallow many of these symbols of marriage are? They could be done a lot better if people have any imagination.
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