The impending bankruptcy of the Hostess company has the little skinny black kid in me yelling at the top of his exhausted lungs. But when my daughter and I discussed the matter today, it was really a small surprise to her. The first thing out of her mouth was, well, that's what all the dieting did. She's right.
I've noticed these kinds of creeping stupidities as consumer tastes change. It must be kept in mind that's all that going on. People like to pretend that they are getting smarter and making wiser choices, but there's nothing smart about using 4 disposable razor blades instead of 2. There's nothing smart about paying whatever people pay for Garnier Frucktisse, or whatever that green shampoo is. And there is nothing smart about eating yogurt instead of Twinkies, because both are dessert and there's nothing smart about dessert. It's all fashion.
The thing about Twinkies and Wonder Bread is that they are Americana. So people will lament their demise as a sign of the good old days long gone. Look at us, we grew up on the stuff and we turned out OK. But that's not what the consumer marketers want you to think - they want you to think that you are fat and old and you need to change your habits and products. And they have been successful. Maybe it's because Met Life stole the Peanuts characters away from Hostess, or maybe Lucy isn't as attractive as she used to be. Maybe it's because cops need to be more paramilitary and Donettes just weren't doing it. Or maybe the police departments, since they are breaking municipalities all around, demanded an end to the powdered sugar for healthcare insurance reasons.
I like to blame Progressives of course. It's clear that the 18,000 workers at the 33 bakeries and 500 odd distribution centers around the country were engaged in a capitalist conspiracy to make us all eat unhealthy, environmentally unsound foodstuffs. Since their candidate has been re-elected, who cares about unemployment? Besides, Hostess was the enemy, right? In a perfect world, there would be no Ding Dongs, so we must be making Progress!
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