20 Reasons Why The New Pope Cannot Be Acceptable to Americans

It's all about the nature of the election. It's just not American.

• No billions spent on negative advertising for months on end
• No special interest groups claiming voter fraud
• No bogus debates full of stupid questions.
• No radio talkshow hosts trashing the opposition.
• No music videos, catchy slogans and balloons.
• No social media asking what *you* think.
• No pictures of the candidate with wife and kids.
• No billboard signs with the candidate's name in bold italic fonts.
• No promise to bring home the troops or to send more troops.
• No promise to spend more money or to spend less money.
• No superficial differences exaggerated for effect.
• No interview with Oprah, David Letterman or Jay Leno
• No ghostwritten autobiography.
• No bashing of the prior president.
• No promise to fight against China.
• No promise to fix Detroit once and for all.
• No promise of jobs for any class.
• No weasel words on abortion, death penalty, immigration, or gun control. 
• No complaining about how stupid, fat, bullying & oversexed American high schoolers are.
• No jetting from coast to coast to collect money while telling corny jokes to rich people.

 All that and the decision took less than 15 days. How could any American possibly support the Pope? The Vatican clearly doesn't know a thing about what we expect from leaders. Send Jimmy Carter to examine this process!