My brother asked me and my answer was that I don't think I know who I am writing for any longer. I mean it is satisfying that I get my 200 hits a day at Cobb, down from 600 a couple years ago down from 1200 a few years prior. If I suddenly got 2000 hits a day, maybe somebody in the comments would let me know something I don't. But I should be satisfied, and now I remember that I am, just writing the stuff that doesn't get written elsewhere - the stuff I wished someone would write for me. I'm doing what I think is proper writing and perhaps there are others out there like me.
But last night I got a bit of an itch. More on that later. For now, I'm writing about the year of a man. Me.
This is the year that I finally figured out what to do in my post-political world. The best revenge is living well, but ever since I got sick and tired of political debate I hadn't really found something more compelling. But I fell into the right groove this year with my martial education, which may come at the death of my writing career for the next decade.
I have become a junior sheepdog and a Stoic. I no longer engage in much wishful thinking at all. I survive and let the upside take care of itself. And in that regard I am reinforcing what I know has been true about my rise to success which is that I have merely avoided as much foolishness as possible. I am not brilliant, but I do have a good memory and I always believe there is a better way. I live as much as possible with no regrets and make as few missteps in the maze as I can recall, recalling that I have a rather good recall. And when I cannot, at least I can read my own writing and blogging and most of my notes which report facts as well as I can parse them. My writing and reading have formed a cycle of virtue and decreased my appetite for reading a blatherous universe of things I've said better and with more detail than what I presume the average peasant consumes. Yet there is a bit of satisfaction I don't have given the enormous volume of bodewash presented to the credulous and superstitious minds of the millions. But there are still libraries and universities and university libraries.
I'm folding my Men's Group. I like everyone I met, but I fear that I am just too odd for the lot. I don't understand why and am not really interested in determining why. It is part and parcel of my desire to be Stoic. How shall I put it? I am of no mind whatsoever to create an emergent need for myself, but I surely aim to be prepared for any emergency. And thus my value in society will be that whose company probably will not be sought outside of desparation, which while not delightful, is comforting. I don't know whose company I should seek, but I tried. Weird. I never quite know what to think about the fact that there is no Barney to my Fred and no Moose Lodge in sight. It's just a very strange predicament. Strange indeed. So. No more Men's Group.
I did find a bar. I've been there about once a month. It was OK. It's still OK. I will return.
- New refrigerator
- New Couch
- New XBox
- Calesthenics - 1 each per day to 100 each situps, pushups, 4 count jumping jacks
- Tai Chi
- New Bike
- Integrate Cubegeek & Cobb
- Move static websites to Amazon
- Move Limbo to Evernote
- Mac Mini
- Start Men's Meetup in SouthBay
- Find a Bar
- 35 Year Reunion
- Finish First Draft of Borky's Beach
- Read Classics {Middlemarch, Don Quixote, Finnegan's Wake}
I got the refrigerator, and a motorcycle, and I did no calesthenics. I did a little Tai Chi and I will do some more. I don't care about digital integration so much no more. I got the Mac Mini and it was worth it. I bought a half dozen knives and my two favorites are missing. I spent a lot of time with people I used to know and I'm still very different. I never finished the first draft of Borky's Beach. Maybe I'll do some more writing this week while I'm still on vacation. Meh. No bike. That was more social. I'll do the solo gym.
Fatherhood has been a challenge this year. I'm in transition from Dad to Bank of Dad and also Dad & Dad Consulting LLP. I have had to break out the ledgers to keep track of what I'm spending on the fledglings who are growing up straight, but slo - o-o-w ly. I'm going to have to keep the castle a bit longer. Sheesh. I realize that if I had more money I would have spoiled them. Now I'm going to have to homeschool them - it's my own Finishing School, I guess. Because the world of young American adults is so chock full of insipid foolishness.. argh. Don't let me get started.
This has also been a good year financially. My FICO is the best it has been in .. well since they invented FICO, and that's nice. I'm going to manage that even better next year. It gets easier. I did well in the market - my only regret is that I didn't buy four times as much Amazon as I did when I could have.
I took care of my health, mostly. I'm better now than I was a year ago, not by a whole lot but, I feel good.
What did I do in 2013 that was really different? I seriously thought about getting into motorcycling again. I read a lot of first person fiction. I finally got Cthulhu. I decided never again to buy cheap shoes. I got more belts because I lost an inch on my waist. I perfected my office. I read a lot more history.
My coding is way better than a year ago. I have completely given up on Essbase and the Oracle stuff. I found the best text editor yet (Sublime Text). I overdosed on Amazon. I actually overdosed my brain and got used to working 10 hour days. I gave more consideration to Web stuff, eww. I decided not to leave the South Bay for meetups, because really there's nothing that great in Pasadena or Santa Monica. I decided to give in and just assume I'm hacked - although I am going to do more crypto this year coming.
Basically life happened. Big deal. Sorry to bore you Future Self.
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