I am rethinking my entire life as a writer. It is because I have come to understand too much of what I once knew nothing about, the Chatting Class. I just read the other day that British erudition is a condition of fear and that strikes me as exactly true. I once sense the fear of being a white boy named Smith with no chance of distinguishing myself except through actual accomplishment. Some days that is what I think of the Chinese. Except none of this is true. The meritocracy is on the margins and most people bullshit their ways through life, only occasionally rubbing up against the actual truth and then only fractionally marching in tune with it.
Not long ago, in fact at the beginning of this year, I came to the realization that there was nothing at all I wanted to tell the world. I have instead decided to talk in no way up or down to anyone. I will write as if I'm writing for myself and only say what I need to have said. Those who get it will get it. I don't expect that many followers anyhow. When I retire, I'll rethink the matter. Practically speaking it means I will shortly abandon Quora. I have had a good three year run with 1.2 million views. But I'm rather tired of being clever. Facebook. Well, I have actual friends there. As I tweet into the darkness, Facebook will be a mirror.
In the meantime I will be consuming a new set of classics, mostly film and literature and perhaps some poetry. Who knows? I might actually memorize some poetry. Go figure.
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