A True Angeleno

A true Angeleno (from the archives April 2015)

1. You have at least two favorite Mexican beers.
   
Need I say more? Most people in the rest of the country only know Corona. You've been there, done that, gave it up, came back. You know your Tecate from your Negro Modelo, your Sol from your Pacifico. Rolling Rock? What's that?
   

2. You are some kind of burrito snob.

   Tacos are tacos, and from time to time you can accept something other than the usual, but when it comes to burritos, you are specific and exacting. If they put the wrong thing in it, you will take it back. You try to avoid conversations about the proper burrito like some people avoid religion and politics.
   

3. You have a beach.

   No a beach is not a beach. When you say you are going 'to the beach', you have a specific beach in mind. Venice Beach is nothing like Zuma. You try to explain to your friends from out of town that what they are seeing at Will Rogers is not volleyball. Volleyball is at the Manhattan Pier. You know loud pit parties at Dockweiller after dark, and the special quiet of MDR north of the channel. You know beach etiquette is local.
   
   
4. Deep down you miss the Raiders, kinda.
We don't lose a lot of sleep over football. I mean it's not like we don't have other things to do, like Ohio or Pittsburgh. But if we ever get another team, the bar is going to be rather high.

   
   
5. You have a love-hate relationship with local news personalities.
   
   
6. You recognize California in motion pictures.
Yeah that's supposed to be some exotic locale, but you recognize those hills. That's California scrub and you cannot be fooled. That cave? That's Bronson Cave, you've been there yourself. That distant mountain road? Griffith Park. That cliff by the beach? Zuma, dude
   

7. What's a tree? Yeah I recognize it, but if it's not a palm tree I don't know what it's called.
   

8. You have an innate earthquake sense.
Within 2 seconds, you know if that shake is going to cause annoyance or panic. You are wary of putting too many fragile objects on bookshelves. Glass coffee tables? No.

   
   
9. You recognize a sweet ride.
And you give props to somebody whose hooptie is tight. Not just your ordinary Porsche or S Class can turn your head, but a matte black BRZ with the sport exhaust, or a retro Baja Bug? That's a car.